I think computers have a mind of their own. Or make that, my computer has a mind of it's own.
I've tried several times to write about how I feel about events in Australian public and publishing life, and each time that I get to the point of pressing "Publish" the whole system locks up and the words are lost into that great Bit Bucket in the Ether. So I am going to take life as it comes and marvel at the ability of my computer to act as another aspect of myself, reminding me that the only information I have on the whole affair is that provided by the very people who will profit most in some respects from making revelations like this. The whole thing just leaves a sour taste in the mouth, and a sort of huge sigh of resignation that yet again perceptions and stereotypes of women, particularly women politicians, are likely to be wafted around in defence of Cheryl Kernott, while male politicians probably do the same thing but don't have their pecadillo's wafted around like an unwashed hankie to quite the same extent.

It makes an for an interesting light on how in some ways we all censor our public words. Here am I constrained by the morals of my computer (it is far more likely to be my own conscience, really) from writing about something that is both painful and long over, but which may or may not have had an influence on Australia's political life. Yet at the same time realising the extent to which journalists do find out information and constrain themselves from sharing every grubby little titbit with their readership. Are they justified? Do people in the public eye deserve any privacy, having held themselves up for examination in every other way?

To a certain extent because of her actions four odd years ago and in publishing a memoir of that period, Cheryl Kernott has opened up herself to criticism. And Laurie Oakes has been correct in bringing the sordid affair to a wider public notoriety. Perhaps Gareth Evens did not only seduce Cheryl's body but her political voting power too; perhaps he didn't either! Because the whole thing was not discussed openly when it originally was (apparently) first known in parliament makes one feel most unsure if it has relevance in being revealed now.

Questioning the motivation for Kernotts defection from the Democrats to the Labor Party is as valid as questioning Oakes' choice of timing his revelation, and leads one to wonder what else he is not telling us, as one of our few means of getting information about how our elected representatives are behaving and doing the job we hired them for. But as one respondant to the Sydney Morning Herald observed this morning, I also have had my imagination scarred visualising Gareth and Cheryl together.

And the worst of it is, the only people who really don't deserve any of this are Mrs Evens and Mr Kernott and the rest of their respective families.

What a painful mess all round!