I’ve been feeling really flat this last week. Something to do with not actually having a job to do I fear. Lack of purpose I think is the hardest thing to overcome when one doesn’t have a paid job. Which is not to say during those years when the children were small and we chose to live on a single income so that I could stay home and look after them that I found it difficult to organise myself … on the contrary, it was almost as if I had too many things to do, and I got them all done. It’s the change from having shifted from the “working at home mother” or the “student mother”, where things had deadlines or due dates, to one where unless I have a job to go to I find it difficult to organise all the things I could do around the house.

It’s not as if housework is an attractive thing to do … the hard thing is that it constantly needs to be done * sigh * It’s the other things that I could be doing that I find difficult to organise.
I have ideas for sewing that I want to explore; I have fleeces to spin, wash, dye and do stuff with; I have research about a variety of things I want to explore; I want to write about a whole bunch of stuff. Yet what to I end up doing? Playing that wretched Solitaire game on the computer … again!

I’ve even resorted to physically removing the file from the hard-drive, unfortunately I know where it is located, so that it is not difficult for me to find a copy on one of the other machines in the house to drag back on to the drive and start playing again * sigh *. A recent comment on the inability to work with people who suffer an addiction, like that of tobacco or alcohol makes me just wonder at what point one can admit to an addiction to mindless computer games?

Does anyone have a URL to a Solitaire Players Anonymous?